I sit here as I do most evenings worried. I have an on and off pain in my chest. Is it a heart attack? Cancer? Embolism? Does my mind ever think oh you worked hard today? You earned these muscle spasms. Good job. No. It always goes to worse possible scenario. No matter what.
Being mentally ill sucks. It seriously sucks balls. Being a hypochondriac is the worse. It takes everyday aches and pains and convinces you that you are dying. Every single day. Multiple times a day and on bad days, multiple times an hour. My kids can't have a bruise I don't analyse over and over. Headache? Omg they have brain tumors. Sounds funny at times. Believe me it isn't.
Even when friends tell me about being sick, or having aches or pains, I worry. Family is sick. I start having symptoms even if I'm not sick. The mind is a very strange thing. It can convince your body it's having certain pains even when there is nothing wrong. I know it's nothing. If I keep busy I don't notice some pains. So it's my mind tricking the body that there is something wrong when there isn't. It's a very fine line in today's technology rich world that I have to balance. You read all these stories about cancer, ms, Parkinson's, ECT. How do you decide what to have checked out and what you think is nerves? My only answer so far has been wait. I get a new pain, I wait a week to see if it gets better or worse. 100% so far have gone away entirely, so far.
Being mentally ill sucks. It seriously sucks balls. Being a hypochondriac is the worse. It takes everyday aches and pains and convinces you that you are dying. Every single day. Multiple times a day and on bad days, multiple times an hour. My kids can't have a bruise I don't analyse over and over. Headache? Omg they have brain tumors. Sounds funny at times. Believe me it isn't.
Even when friends tell me about being sick, or having aches or pains, I worry. Family is sick. I start having symptoms even if I'm not sick. The mind is a very strange thing. It can convince your body it's having certain pains even when there is nothing wrong. I know it's nothing. If I keep busy I don't notice some pains. So it's my mind tricking the body that there is something wrong when there isn't. It's a very fine line in today's technology rich world that I have to balance. You read all these stories about cancer, ms, Parkinson's, ECT. How do you decide what to have checked out and what you think is nerves? My only answer so far has been wait. I get a new pain, I wait a week to see if it gets better or worse. 100% so far have gone away entirely, so far.
